Creamy Olive Spread Recipe

Alright, friends, gather ’round, because today we’re diving headfirst into something that sounds fancy, tastes incredible, and takes about as much effort as trying to convince your toddler that broccoli is a “tiny tree.” I’m talking about this Creamy Olive Spread Recipe. Seriously, if you think olives are just for martinis or those weird little cans nobody ever opens, prepare to have your mind, and your snack game, completely blown. This isn’t your grandma’s bland spread; it’s got a zesty kick, a creamy texture, and an undeniable “I just whipped this up, no big deal” vibe that will have everyone asking for the recipe. It’s basically the culinary equivalent of wearing sweatpants but making them look chic. Trust me, you need this in your life, especially if you enjoy looking impressive with minimal actual effort.

The last time I made this, my husband, bless his heart, decided he was going to “help” by pitting the olives. Now, I love him, but his kitchen skills sometimes resemble a particularly enthusiastic but ultimately clumsy raccoon. He got about three olives in before declaring it “too fiddly” and proceeded to just… bite the olives off the pits like an apple. He then left a pile of olive pits and slightly-chewed olive remnants on the counter, claiming it was “pre-processed.” I eventually just took over, rolled my eyes so hard I almost saw my brain, and used a proper pitter. He still devoured the finished spread, completely forgetting his “hard labor,” and then complimented my “amazing knife skills” when I pointed out he hadn’t actually done any pitting himself. Ah, marriage. Always an adventure, especially when sharp objects and food are involved.

Time-Saving Hacks

– Okay, first off, use pre-pitted olives. Unless you enjoy a frustrating archaeological dig for pits, just buy them ready to roll. Your sanity is worth it.
– Throw everything in the food processor and let it do the work. Don’t even *think* about finely dicing anything by hand unless you’re trying to win an award for “most unnecessary effort.”
– Don’t bother washing the measuring spoon for the olive oil. Just eyeball it. It’s olive oil, not rocket science. A little more or less isn’t going to break the internet.
– Skip the fancy serving dish. Just leave it in the food processor bowl and pretend it’s a rustic centerpiece. Less dishes, more happy.

Serving Ideas

– Crusty baguette slices. The kind that makes a delightful crunch when you bite into it, preferably while wearing an apron, pretending you just baked the bread too.
– Any cracker, from the artisanal fancy ones to the suspiciously orange cheese-flavored kind. This spread plays nice with everyone.
– A rainbow of raw veggies (carrots, celery, bell peppers) if you’re feeling particularly virtuous that day. We all have those moments, fleeting as they may be.
– Serve with a crisp white wine if the kids drove you absolutely bonkers all day. Or, you know, just because. No judgment here.
– Honestly, a spoon works just fine. Right out of the fridge. Don’t tell anyone.

What to Serve It With

✔Tips & Mistakes

Don’t over-process: Unless you want olive baby food. You want some texture, some little olivey bits, not a completely smooth paste. Stop, scrape, pulse, repeat.
Taste and adjust: Always. Olives vary in saltiness. Your taste buds are your best friend here, not some random recipe on the internet (even if it’s mine).
Lemon juice is key: It brightens everything up. If it tastes a little flat, a tiny bit more lemon is probably the answer. It’s like magic, but for your mouth.
Don’t skip the fresh herbs: They add a fantastic fresh note. If you use dried, use about a third of the amount and prepare for it to taste a bit… drier.

✔Storage Tips

Store it in the fridge… if there’s any left. Cold midnight leftovers? Sometimes better than fresh.

✔Variations and Substitutions

Swap whatever you want—sugar ↔ honey, soy sauce ↔ tamari, or skip steps and call it “deconstructed.” It still counts.

Frequently Asked Questions

Creamy Olive Spread Recipe

This creamy olive spread is perfect for parties or as a savory snack.

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Prep Time: 15 minutes minutes

Total Time: 15 minutes minutes

Servings: 6

Calories: 120kcal

Ingredients

 

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Main Ingredients

• ▢ 1.5 cup pitted green olives drained and rinsed
• ▢ 0.5 cup cream cheese softened for easy mixing
• ▢ 2 tbsp fresh parsley finely chopped
• ▢ 1 clove garlic minced
• ▢ 1 tbsp lemon juice freshly squeezed for flavor
• ▢ 0.25 tsp black pepper to taste

Instructions

Preparation Steps

• In a mixing bowl, combine the green olives and cream cheese until smooth.
• Add minced garlic, chopped parsley, lemon juice, and black pepper to the olive mixture.
• Stir well until all ingredients are incorporated.
• Serve immediately or chill in the refrigerator for enhanced flavors.

Notes

This olive spread pairs wonderfully with crackers or fresh bread. For extra flavor, consider adding a pinch of red pepper flakes.